Tag Archives: bad resume

Four Seconds Until You Meet The Recycling Bin

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If you only had four seconds to express to someone your job seeking interests and abilities, would you be able to do it? If you’re looking for employment right now, you better figure it out.

Yup. On average (give or TAKE!!), a hiring manager or recruiter looks at your resume for a lousy four seconds. How in the world can you sum up your entire career and sell your personality in FOUR seconds?!?! Well, I’m here to help.

First of all… toss your personality out the window. You’re not going to capture anything about your personality that a hiring manager will appreciate on a piece of paper.
    *  Do not put your picture on your resume
    *  Do not use colored paper
    *  Do not attempt “cute” with funky fonts
    *  Do not use colored ink
    *  Be sure that your name and phone number are at the top
    *  No gimmicks!!!
If you DO, you’re simply distracting the hiring manager from any reason they should actually consider interviewing you. 

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Resume Bloopers!

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People write the strangest things on their resumes, sometimes downright hysterical. Why should only recruiting managers get to laugh at these? The Top 10 are at the bottom. Enjoy!
Insert Brain HereFrom Resume Hell:

  1. “Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse”
  2. “1990 – 1997: Stewardess – Royal Air Force”
  3. Hobbies: “enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians”
  4. “Service for old man to check they are still alive or not.”
  5. Cleaning skills: “bleaching, pot washing, window cleaning, mopping, e.t.c”
  6. “Job involved…counselling clientele on accidental insurance policies available”
  7. “2001 summer Voluntary work for taking care of the elderly and vegetable people”
  8. “I’m intrested to here more about that. I’m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer”
  9. “I am about to enrol on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University. I feel that this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.”
  10. “Time is very valuable and it should be always used to achieve optimum results and I believe it should not be played around with”
  11. “I belive that weakness is the first level of strength, given the right attitude and driving force. My school advised me to fix my punctuality…”

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